“Somewhere in between the pace of life and work and where you’re going, something makes you stop and notice and you’re finally in the moment” - Come From Away Company. “38 Planes (Reprise) / Somewhere In The Middle Of Nowhere.” Come From Away (Original Broadway Cast Recording). Concord Records. 2017.
Today’s my last night in South Africa, and I genuinely can’t believe it’s already been (a little over) six weeks. This whole trip and project have been one of the most exciting, scary, uncomfortable, overwhelming, and life affirming experiences. I’m really proud of myself for traveling to another country alone, taking charge of this research project, and milking every opportunity I’ve gotten while here.
I left Tugela Ferry on Saturday morning, and I honestly was a bit sad to go. As much as I struggled when I first got there, I had become really comfortable in my little trailer with the routine I had established. Though I kept telling everyone I’d be back soon (because I hope it’s true), I don’t actually know where I fit in to the future of this project.
On Friday afternoon, the two research assistants I had been working with treated me to a braai (South African BBQ). We brought our food to Msinga Top, took lots of pictures, and I ate my lunch overlooking this area that has become so special to me. One of my coworkers got me a traditional Zulu beaded bracelet as a goodbye gift, and I almost cried because I was so touched. Zulu women have a long tradition of really intricate and beautiful beadwork, so it’s nice to have a little reminder of the culture when I come home.
I’m writing to you today from a hostel in Cape Town, where I’ve spent my last few days in South Africa doing a bunch of fun touristy activities. Cape Town definitely has a very different vibe than anywhere I’ve been in KwaZulu-Natal, and it’s really cool to see another part of the country. There’s currently, I shit you not, load shedding here as well. It does feel like a fun full circle moment, that my last night here is going the same way my first night did: me sitting alone in my bed in the dark, thinking about what I’ve gotten myself into.
This is my first time ever staying in a hostel, and I love it. I think especially coming off the last 5 weeks where I was very alone, especially in the evenings, it’s nice to be somewhere where everyone is willing to talk to you and there’s always someone willing to go explore or do something with you. I’m honestly a bit mad at myself for never having traveled and stayed at hostels before, but before this trip I don’t think I would’ve been brave enough to even try.
I know it’s only been like 3 weeks since I wrote about how big the world is and people who say it’s small are wrong, but I had the wildest small-world interaction the other night that’s making me rethink my opinion.
My mom’s suggestion to me before arriving in Cape Town was that if I get lonely I should go to the local Chabad to make friends with young Israelis who are traveling. Chabad is a sect of Orthodox Judaism that is big into getting Jews to be more connected to their Judaism, and they often have locations in big cities and college campuses where people can gather for food and meeting. It’s apparently a common place for young Israelis who are traveling the world to get some free food and socialize, so I was keeping this in the back of my mind for my trip here. Turns out though that I didn’t need to go to Chabad to meet traveling Israelis, because there’s literally like 10 staying in this one hostel.
One of my favorite activities to do with Israelis is not let them know that I speak (a little bit of) Hebrew, eavesdrop for a bit, talk to them in English, and then just drop a random Hebrew sentence in at some point to see how they react. I ended up having a very easy in to do this because at one point one of them mentioned that he’s Yemenite Jewish, so I just casually responded in Hebrew “ah, ha abba sheli temani!” (“ah, my dad is also Yemenite!”) It was very fun to see all their reactions but then unfortunately they started asking me questions that were too complex for me to follow with my incredibly rusty Hebrew skills so I asked if we could switch to English. It is really fun though to partly understand what they’re talking about and they’ve all been very welcoming to me and they let me hang out with them.
That’s not the small world story though, it gets even better! At one point we got on the topic of where everyone was from, and I mentioned that my dad is from this small moshav called Yarhiv, which literally has like 1000 people in it, so I always also name other towns nearby. The guy I was talking to mentioned that there’s another guy staying here who was from Matan, which is the town directly bordering Yarhiv and is where my dad’s childhood (and current) best friend lives. This was already a huge coincidence, because Matan isn’t that big either, it’s got a population of like 3000 people. I told him he had to introduce me to this guy, and the other night I met him. I told him my last name and he responded that it sounded very familiar and he would probably recognize my family, and then when I mentioned my dad’s friend’s name he immediately knew who I was talking about and named the kids in the family who are around our age. I of course freaked out because who would expect that thousands of miles away from either of our homes we would be staying at the same place at the same time, run into each other, and both know the same family from a very small town! I guess the moral of this story is that you can find community and connections anywhere, you just have to seek them out.
This past weekend, I was on FaceTime with my brother while I was packing up all my stuff to leave Tugela Ferry. He asked me if I had fun while I was here and if I’m glad that I came. I told him, of course, at which point he asked me, “why were you bitching and crying about it so much when you got there then?” The answer, which he obviously already knew, was that my anxiety was so overpowering when I first got here that I genuinely didn’t know how to manage. His response (which I refuse to believe he thought of himself) was, “y’know, Arielle, if instead of your brain telling you the things you tell yourself when you’re anxious, it was a man telling you that you couldn’t do these things, you’d get super mad and fight back at them. So why not just pretend that your anxiety is an annoying man?” And honestly, the dude has a point. If some annoying guy came up to me and started telling me how I wasn’t cut out for the research I’m doing and that I’ve bit off way more than I can chew, I would immediately need to prove him wrong just to spite it. I mean, what is anxiety if not just an annoying dude trying to get you to doubt your abilities? I’m not sure how well this technique will work when I’m in the middle of a panic attack, but it won’t hurt to try it anyway.
In terms of my project, survey data collection will still be ongoing for another 3ish weeks, but we already have all the interviews we need and over half our target number of surveys. I talked with my advisor yesterday and we chatted about some of the preliminary results, the themes that came up in interviews, the differences in alcohol use response among different women, and the general demographics of our survey sample. It’s really interesting to talk about this with someone else, especially because some of the things I mentioned hearing a bunch from participants were news to my advisor. I’m excited to see the results that come once I get translations for the rest of the interviews back and am able to better analyze some of the things that came up a bunch. I know I’ve said it before, but I really love this project and I’m excited to see what becomes of it (and hopefully I’ll be able to keep working on it in the future).
My travel back to the US is going to be a very hectic (and probably miserable) trip over the next two days. While there are direct flights from Cape Town to Newark that take about 15 hours, I will not be doing that, since my international flights were initially booked in and out of Johannesburg and I can’t rebook them since Yale already paid for them (and I refuse to pay for my own travel if I don’t need to). Instead, I will be flying out of Cape Town to Johannesburg at 11:30 am tomorrow, then tomorrow evening from Johannesburg to JFK, with a six hour layover in London. When I first booked my flight, I was excited for my layover in London because I thought it was just long enough for me to feasibly make a trip to every epidemiologist’s favorite landmark the Broad Street Pump while I’m there, but British rail workers are striking this weekend, which means that there won’t be any reasonable way for me to get into or out of the airport, so I’ll just be sitting around for a while. Assuming all flights go to plan, I am expected to land in NYC about 36 hours after I leave the hostel tomorrow morning, so the next two days are going to be… rough to say the least. The only consolation I can think of is that I’m pretty good at sleeping on planes, and I have a window seat (my preference) for each leg, so hopefully I survive without too much pain and suffering.
I still have so much to write about with this trip (there are some things I’m not supposed to talk about until I get back), and so many thoughts to sort through, so this is not the last you’ll hear from me! Anyway, wish me luck on getting back to the US, and if you’re one to pray, send a quick prayer that my seatmates on my flights don’t suck (or maybe even don’t show up). I’ll see you all on the other side of the Atlantic!
Thanks if you read all this but no worries if not!
-Arielle
P.S. The quote above comes from a song from my favorite musical and it’s a line that’s been bouncing around in my head every since I got here and if you haven’t seen/listened to the musical yet please do yourself a favor and watch it. It’s on Apple TV+ and if you don’t have it I will literally share my login info with you for this sole purpose.